What Is Intentional Dating?

With dating sites becoming the norm, I think we should do ourselves a favor and dig into the topic of online dating especially as we head into this month typically focused on romantic love. Before we do, I have to be honest with you. Tackling the topic of online dating is a little intimidating for me. I have several really close friends that I greatly admire who stand on opposite sides of the spectrum on this issue. Some godly friends of mine love online dating to pieces, and some godly friends are strongly opposed to it. There are also amazing Christian ministries I highly respect with competing views on the subject. The goal of this blog post is to help you think through the pros and cons of online dating and both sides of the argument. I believe that online dating would only be a distraction for me, and I never had any peace about using it personally. My life verse Prov. Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

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But what might seem like just a buzzword may actually be a very important factor in your relationship. God did not intend for us to bear things alone and accountability is a way of staying on track when living out godly relationships. But guess what folks — confession is biblical. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. The internet can be an incredibly powerful thing.

They might not act like they do in real life.

It can help differentiate the intentional from the non-intentional. I’ve heard it said that online dating really helps narrow down the singles who are.

It sounds intense. Remember that time Spot got neutered? Before his man parts were removed, he had a ton of energy. He was king of the world. Then he came home from the vet, and he became eerily calm. No guy wants to be cornered, much less think beyond today. The great men of history all seem to live by a planning motto. Take some of these great words from the legends:. Desperation is put aside, and a calm inner confidence begins to set high standards for the next stage of life.

When he meets her, he executes the plan.

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But as we talked about how our casual dating relationship led us to this point, she said something that took me by surprise. Have you ever felt like you could only go out with someone if you were seriously interested in him or her? Some Christians believe in intentionality so strongly that they feel a man should have an honest conversation with a woman about his interest and intentions before they even go on a single date.

Not being this clear and intentional is often viewed as being self-serving, cowardly, or the mark of a poor leader. So how was it that she said with complete conviction that we were intentional in our dating?

Casual or purposeless dating has no benefit for Christians. We are intentional beings. We are designed to know why we do stuff and where we are going. Dating.

I was increasingly worried about those who approached dating with very little purpose, understanding, or direction. Some were apathetic, while others were much too zealous. My biggest concern was their future. I desperately wanted them to experience the joys and fulfillment of a happy marriage and family life. We began talking in earnest about whether the process of developing good relationships was inherent in people or learned.

In the end, my wife and I concluded that the skill of developing worthwhile relationships is something a person indeed learns, whether from peers, family, a course or book, culture, traditions, or religious beliefs and practices. We immediately thought of our own children and wondered if we were adequately preparing them for their future relationships.

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Signing up agrees to our terms of use. A wise man once told me that there were only two outcomes for dating relationships: getting married or breaking up. The next one did too. This involves judging a potential guy or girl for the 38 qualities you are looking for in an ideal mate—before even grabbing coffee together.

Buy Intentional Dating: Your Need-To-Know Questions Answered! by Olliges, Paul We’ve seen too many well-meaning Christians, compromise their purity.

But what does it mean, and how do you go about dating intentionally? Leading well, being intentional, and frankly being a real man are all closely related. Having a Purpose Anytime you are dating someone, or even just going on a first date, there should be a reason for it. Heading Towards Marriage or a Break-up When we talk about having a purpose when dating, I should clarify that it needs to be a good purpose. Many people go on dates with the purpose of having a one-night stand or making someone else jealous.

So, the goal for any particular dating relationship is to get to know the person well enough to determine if you do want to marry them.

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Intentional sharing and meaningful time together are too important to the health of your marriage to be neglected. What do you like to do? What was your favorite date night? I expected people to respond with some creative ideas, but I was surprised at the response.

Casual dating offers this mean: men and women go on lots of dates with different casual dating; he argued that courtship (which made a comeback in Christian culture with the book I Intentional dating does not mean that you will marry the.

Hang around Christian singles long enough and you’re sure to encounter a certain emotion. If you’re guessing loneliness, guess again. The prevailing emotion is frustration. Men are frustrated because they don’t understand what women want from them; and if they do have a clue, men feel the expectations are too high. Women, on the other hand, are frustrated because they want men to take initiative, to lead.

That’s right, lead. Don’t believe everything you hear; Christ-centered women still believe that God assigned respective roles to the sexes. They want to be led by Christ-centered men. So what’s to be done about the stalemate? How should Christian men and women move toward deeper friendship, possibly even engagement and marriage? I’ll say more about this later, but for now I’ll just blurt it out—it takes a man to be an initiator.

Relationship building with the opposite sex is risky, but in the created order of God’s universe two become one Ephesians However, this will never happen for you personally until you, as a man, accept your God-given role.

Follow the Author

Modern life is ugly, brutal and barren. Maybe you should try a Latin Mass. The New York Times. By Tara Isabella Burton.

Weird Christians reject as overly accommodationist those churches, primarily that Christians should focus on living in intentional, godly communities. beings to budget line items, or anonymous figures on a dating app.

In fact, spending time with people and getting to know them is completely good and healthy. We seek people out with the specific agenda of getting into a relationship, rather than just enjoying the opportunity to get to know someone over time. Rather than assuming or expecting a deeper relationship right away, we need to learn to value people first and foremost for who they are and for the genuine fellowship they can provide without any extra strings attached. In my somewhat sheltered upbringing from church youth group, I was taught to date intentionally, with the goal of marriage in mind, and to date only one person at a time.

But this mindset has too often led me to pick one girl I liked and to form an expected goal in my head before I even make the first move — before I really even get to know her as a person. And, without real-life interaction and companionship, those expectations too easily lead to hurt and disappointment.

John Maxwell – Intentional Living


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